30 days in Dubai
I spent a month in Dubai and I loved it. The glitz, the glam and the overpriced mocktails, it was fabulous. I didn’t go to work, I went to disassociate. I stayed at the luxurious residences of Nikki Beach with my best friend and her family. My friend and her partner are incredibly humble and down to earth…unlike the majority of people who walk through that area. The cars that pull through their valet range from Nissans to Rolls Royce. I saw more luxurious cars in one month than I have in my entire life. I saw two cars with the license plate 5 and 28…and if you know anything about Dubai license plates, they paid a pretty penny for those numbers. But the gas that fuels those luxury sports cars is incredibly cheap…it’s called balance. One handy business idea there is gas on the go, people will order gas to where they are so they don’t have to go to the gas station. Genius.
Witnessing how these people live is inspiring. I don’t know how you feel about luxury and money but I don’t mind it. I think wearing head to toe labels like Louis Vuitton and Fendi is trash but I’m here for it! I watched Dubai Bling and the real housewives of Dubai and I ate it up. I’m not mad about people having a lot of money. Some people have a terrible opinion about the wealthy, but I guess it depends on how you aquired your money, ya know? I know the type of wealthy person I will become, lowkey t-shirt and jeans, Jennifer Aniston natural but wearing designer jewellery. I love goooollldddd. Are you lame like me and said that in Goldmember’s voice? Okay great, moving on.
When I was a child a teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said a philanthropist. I didn’t even know how to spell the word and here I was an eight year old with the audacity of a Kardashian. I watched a lot of Oprah as a child and ‘I want to surprise people with cars for Christmas’, I didn’t know how I was going to do it but I knew that this was my future. I want to spoil my friends and family. I want to take care of all the animals in the world. I want to save the ocean…save the planet! Honestly, I don’t know how I am going to be Oprah rich but being in Dubai gave me that ‘American dream’ feeling. There is so much money circulating in this world and I can have it in my wallet. The abundance was palpable.
The Dubai Mall was enormous, it is so big that there are more than one of the same designer store. We passed Gucci twice and I was so confused, like did we just do a lap? Nope. The mall is beautiful and clean and abundant. I could walk around it all day and people watch. The most luxurious thing I did in Dubai was eat Indian food at the fabulous Tresind Studio on infamous manmade Palm. This special night was gifted to my friend from her husband for Christmas. What a treat! It was a large tasting menu inspired by regions in Pakistan prepared by the two star Michelin chef Himanshu. Every dish was an experience and we were told how to consume it before we began. One bite. Two bite. One bite followed by broth. Use this tool to dissect the food from its shell. Every dish was different and perfect. I was present for every bite. It will go down as one of my more memorable meals.
Of course I saw the water show beside the Burj Khalifa, I drove passed the beautiful Museum of the Future and I saw The Frame. All the standard tourists things were checked off the list. The one thing that I had never done before (that is a must )is experience a proper hamam. What a delight! I had a 2.5hr spa experience at the Cleopatra spa and wow, a must do. Honestly it was a surprise for me, so when the spa attendant gave me disposable underwear I was a little confused...I thought I was only there for a massage. I put my disposable panties on, covered myself with my fluffy robe and sat in the ladies area feeling like Cleopatra herself. I sipped on the best ginger tea I have ever had and waited patiently for my masseuse. She directed me to the steam room and it was clearly my first time cuz I walked in wearing my disposable slippers. They were immediately drenched. I undressed and laid down on a wet stone covered by a wet towel and put my head on a wet pillow and thought, well this is…moist. She explained that she would be doing a body scrub, and body mask, and a oil treatment, OKAY QUEEN! She even washed my hair. That hour long treatment was followed up with a 30minute massage and an hour facial. Oh did I mention that this was a second date?? Yes. Please. Thank you.
I went to Abu Dhabi twice and loved it, almost more than Dubai. The city seemed to be built to accommodate more pedestrians than luxury vehicles. It spacious and clean and vibrant. There is plenty to do. The first time I visited Abu Dhabi I went to a sports resort called Al Forsan International Sports Centre and did some wakeboarding at a cable park. It was so much fun and I had an excellent coach who managed to get me up and carving in circles. I would love to go back and try my hand at the adult go-karting, it looks legit. I always wanted to try a stunt driving course so this could be a great start.
Obviously I love activities so I went to another adventure park in Hatta called ‘Hatta Outdoor’ where I tried archery, axe throwing, a Zorb ball (it’s so stupid) and a massive water slide. The water slide was long and steep, I caught so much air that I felt like I was flying. The Zorb ball was the silliest thing I have ever done. Think of a large plastic hamster ball with some water on the inside. You get into the ball by diving into a small hole and half way in you get stuck and then have to wiggle yourself in the rest of the way. Then they zip up the hole and you are left with yourself, your friend, and a full head of scary thoughts. The whole point of this Zorb ball experience is to bounce and roll down a hill, which seems like fun but it’s not, it’s hectic. You are getting water boarded the entire time. You can’t see anything and you are just hoping you don’t topple over head over heels. Would not recommend that but everything else was was great!
The second time I went to Abu Dhabi I went to the Grand Mosque, the Louvre, and finished the night with the Palace. The Grand Mosque was breathtaking, so pristine and beautiful! The mosque is home to the biggest chandelier in the world and it was…something. If I were the designer I would have chosen different colours, it was giving Christmas vibes. Sorry. Nonetheless the mosque is striking. Would recommend. After the mosque we went to the Lourve. Yes, Abu Dhabi has it’s very own Lourve, it also has it’s own Guggenheim. I love a museum, I could literally stay there all day. I’m such a nerd for art history. I saw my girl Marie Antoinette. Read from some of the oldest religious texts in history. Stood next to a painting by Leonardo da Vinci. Looked at an entire set of armour from horse to rider of the Ottoman Empire. Wild. What did I learn? Nothing. The end of that day was spent eating dinner at a five star hotel, Emirates Palace Mandarin Oriental. We ate on the beach at Sand & Koal with a view of the Shieks Zayed new palace and the Atlantis in the distance. It was magical, honestly. The company, the conversation, the food, I could have stayed there all night.
Other honourable mentions from my time in Dubai would be the fish market, obviously very stinky. Brass Monkey, a fun date night place full of arcade games, billiards, bowling and virtual reality. And finally, the markets of Al Souk Al Kabir, the gold market especially. I tried on a gold tiara and it just felt natural, you know? What a treat. I truly lived it up during my time in the United Arab Emirates. I loved the culture. I loved the lifestyle. I could see myself living there. That being said, the lifestyle I lived was that of a Jumeriah Jane, IYKYK. I could get used to the luxurious beach life. I know I can build my life to meet these standards. I have the talent, the ambition, and the audacity to see my dreams through. I have done it before and I will do it again. I feel a huge wave of excitement about what is possible. The world is my Michelin star oyster. See you again, Dubai.
